


More Smut and Fluff

by ElectraRhodes



Series: Smut and Fluff In Equal Parts [2]
Category: Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types
Genre: Adjacent to canon, Also read the new prequel by dandelion wishes also a crackin good read, Dogs, Fluff, Go read "down where it's wetter" that's got great tags too, Gratuitous abuse of fan fic as a trope, Hannibal is Hannibal, I mean who couldn't love "dubious consentacles" as a tag, I've got the hang of tagging now, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Oh god it's the tags again, Read "don't play with your food" that's a title made for Hannibal if ever there was one, Read "good fisherman too" that's got great tags as well also crackin!, Season 1, See what I did there, Smut, Tag sharing, Will Knows, a crackin good read, although I love it too, better living through tags, car parks, chain link fences, do the tags help you decide to read something?, dubious tag-tent, famous last tags, from here to tagternity, if youve read the tags you should read the story, its a click fic, keeping the tags under control this time, like sugar rush but from reading tags, like the Kraken, once again the comments are longer than the fic, slave - Freeform, tag-rush, tag-tastic, tagibals, tagigram, tags in the story too, the fic is short, this event was made for tagging, truly, us writers slave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 09:27:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10941648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElectraRhodes/pseuds/ElectraRhodes
Summary: When Will has another problem with smut and fluff to whom does he turn this time?It helps to have read part one but isn't essential.&I'm sorry, the comments on part one encouraged me.May 2017 #ReleaseTheCrackin!





	More Smut and Fluff

**Author's Note:**

> Although apparently it wasn't a Kraken that attacked Andromeda, Kraken is a Norwegian word for a large sea monster usually depicted as a giant squid. See Pirates of the Caribbean for surprisingly accurate discussion of this. The monster from the Greek myth is what's known in a transliteration of the original Greek as Cetus (El, no one cares, probably). It was the film 'clash of the Titans' that confused things (El, come away, put the diepad down sweetie. I know it's interesting to you. But no one else. No darling not even Hannibal), when that nice James Mason as Poseidon shouted 'release the Kraken' and... *physically removed from keyboard*..,

Hannibal? Hannibal. Thank God. Over here?'

Hannibal Lecter looked around the darkened car park. When Will had texted him late that night with a message about smut and fluff he'd smirked and packed his go bag accordingly. Replacing all the organic gourmet lube and condoms they'd used up the last time Will used exactly this "smut and fluff" ruse. He wasn't going to be caught out twice! Oh no. Not this time.

Now however he was a little unsure. This didn't seem the most propitious of rendezvous. The GPS coordinates had seemed familiar when he programmed them in. The Quantico Car Park? At, what time was it? 2:45 am? He peered into some of the shadows.

'Will? Where are you? I can't actually see you? Will?'

'In the bushes'

The bushes rustled and a dishevelled Will appeared in the grainy sodium light of the car park.

'Thank God you've come'

'I haven't yet'

'What?'

'What?'

'What haven't you?'

'Will. Again? You texted me saying you had a smut and fluff problem. Again, I might re-iterate. Are we not beyond this? Or is this some car park kink of which I am unaware?'

Will unsnagged his sweater from a particularly possessive hawthorn bush and reached a hand out towards Hannibal. Gingerly Hannibal took it, and let himself be pulled out from under the lights towards the shadowy and prickly bushes. Wil laughed,

'I really meant it this time'

He pulled Hannibal across the tarmac at the edge of the car park, the bushes there effectively hid the chain link fence that surrounded the FBI site, as well as the deep ditch on the other side of the fence. A ditch that made it even harder to climb the fence and get into the federal government complex. On the far side of the ditch was another fence. With barbed wire for extra intimidation value.

'Will? What do you mean? Is this not an amorous assignation? Have I been lured here under false pretences? With the promise of passionate peccadilloes?'

'Hannibal? If we're going to get into the whole manipulation, and coercive thing, then I've got to say you're not going to come out on top'

'I like being on top!'

'Not. What. I. Meant'

'You want to be on top? That's perfectly acceptable. We could flip. Or, I believe the phrase is "power bottom"'

'What? How do you even know that?'

'Ms Katz has taken to sharing her Sherlock fan fic. John Watson is a perfect example of a contemporary power bottom'

Will looked at his lover/psychiatrist/colleague/frenemy (frenemy? Sure can you spell encephalitis anyone! Non-consensual drug use! Gaslighting! Feeding him people sausage, and not in a good way dammit. Until recently) and sighed. 

'Fan fic? Sherlock?'

'Yes. Although properly the ship is known as 'Johnlock'.'

'I'm going to regret asking this, but, "ship"?'

'Relationship. Usually a slash pairing. Often with an attached portmanteau, as mentioned'

'Slash?'

'Usually same sex, often two men, not exclusively'

'Not exclusively men, or not exclusively two?'

'Both of those. Sometimes simultaneously. And I do mean simultaneously. I believe Ms Katz could provide you with some further detail on this matter, she and "Preller" have an understanding I believe'

Will opened his mouth to say something, and decided whatever came out of his mouth right this moment wouldn't be at all helpful in any way.

Hannibal smiled happily,

'I should add the lab name for us is "Hannigram", apparently Jack came up with it'

'Of course he did' Will muttered, but he tried for a bright smile and said,

'Hannibal? Did you tell Jack Crawford about us? Or just the whole lab?'

'Of course. Though actually I told Ms Katz and she told Jimmy and Zeller. I believe money changed hands'

'Money?'

'Yes. Apparently the lab techs in all six labs have had a book open for the last two months'

'Hannibal. We only met two months ago.'

'Thank you Will, I am aware.'

Will decided to cut his losses.

'The reason I texted is because I really did need help with smut and fluff. Down there'

Will clicked on a torch and pointed it to the other side of the first fence. At the bottom of the ditch two disheveled puppies had somehow got themselves tangled up in some left over wiring. They both looked cold and miserable and possibly hungry.

'I can't manage both of them plus the wire and the fence. I need another pair of hands.'

'And you called me?'

'Of course I called you. Why wouldn't I have called you?'

Hannibal thought of all the many reasons why Will might not call him (can you spell encephalitis anyone! Non-consensual drug use! Gaslighting! Feeding him people sausage, and not in a good way dammit. Until recently.) and smiled brightly,

'And you thought that the lure of "smut and fluff' would bring me running, or rather, driving?'

Hannibal for all his abstruse idiolect, pretentious classical allusion, and extended metaphor could be somewhat literal sometimes. Will sighed,

'No, it's on the name tags. I know. Hell of a coincidence. Puppies. Called Smut and Fluff'

'Oh. That is. Well. I can certainly help. Of course.'

Twenty minutes later the two men had extracted the two pups and given them both a careful check. They seemed to be alright. Nothing some water, some food, and some sleep wouldn't hurt. They lay in the back of Will's estate car panting.

'I'll take them to the vets tomorrow see if they're chipped'

'Don't the tags have a number to call? Or an email?'

Will laughed,

'What? They don't have tags. You really thought they were called Smut and Fluff? Nah I was just kidding'

It was Hannibal's turn to do an impression of a koi carp, opening and closing his mouth while no words came out. Will grinned victoriously,

'But there's plenty of smut and fluff back at Wolf Trap if you'd care to come with me'

He paused for a moment,

'In both senses'

Hannibal nodded,

'Can I just be clear. Again. Smut and fluff, not dogs?'

'God you're adorable. Hurry up'


End file.
